Therewith to be Content

Have you ever been censured by God? You know, scolded, reprimanded and otherwise put in your place?

That is what happened to me recently. Because it is HARD being in this single-mom zone. Lest you think that I am too much of a newbie at this, I have been doing this a little longer than either one of my two pregnancies. While that amount of time doesn't make me a seasoned solider, it definitely has got me looking at greener pastures thinking about how much better things might get in two or three years... that is until I got God-smacked.

I can just picture Heavenly Father looking down at me and giving me a good finger wagging. At least that is what I envisioned as I was wishing and hoping for a future that is a far cry from my reality...and then I opened the Bible. (Which is a good place to be scolded... but take it from me, if you try to avoid reading your scriptures because you "don't want to hear it," God will still find a way to hit you on the head with a 2x4....but that is a story for another post.)

So there I was minding my own business, fantasizing what it might be like if a few things were changed or tweaked with my current situation when I opened up to Philippians 4:11.

This is what it says:

"Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content." 

So what ever state or condition you are in you are charged with being content. And just in case you needed a vocabulary lesson, "therewith" means in the thing mentioned. To break it down into common language, God is saying that where ever you are at, in that thing you should be content.

What is that "thing" that you are in the middle of? And why should I be content about it anyway?

My short list looks like this:

Single parenting

Co-parenting

Laundry 

Child -rearing

Kid's School

Working full time

Financial Obligations

House Cleaning

House Projects (still remodeling over here)

Yard Projects

Grief

Divorce

Now, I don't think that when the Bible tells us to "be content" that we slap on a smile as we are up to our elbows in laundry having a mental breakdown (trying to pretend this didn't recently happen to me) But I do think he is trying to stop us from having too many of those "wait until..." moments. You know what I am talking about.

 I can't wait until I get that promotion, I can't wait until my kids are a little more independent, I can't wait until we get into a bigger home, I can't wait until I graduate, I can't wait until I find someone, I can't wait until my kids are out of the house... 

 What God was trying to impress upon my heart is that I had become a little too focused on those wait until moments. I needed to be reminded to stop and enjoy this moment. And see this season as a good one to be in. If we are constantly looking into the future in order to finally land on this far off ideal that may or may not bring us happiness, it probably won't until we can learn to be content with the season of life that we are currently enjoying.

When my little girl first entered the world, I felt a little more prepared for her. First off her bassinet was all set up and the house was clean ( both things that did NOT happen for her brother). But I also felt more like I knew what I wanted to do different. It took my oldest a long long time before he slept through the night. So I vowed to get this new little one on a schedule, and get her sleeping well. 

Of course, she had different plans. The first day and night home with our little girl was grueling! Remember that sleep schedule I was so pumped to get her on? This little chica refused to settle down. We were swaddling her, feeding her diapering her, singing to her, rocking her, doing intense ninja moves that we had learned because we were "seasoned" parents....but she had her on ninja moves (she still does) and fought us ALL night long...refusing to sleep for even small stretches. This went on for HOURS until finally at 4 am in the morning all of us, baby included, were so exhausted that we just conked out on the bed in whatever position we found ourselves in... only to be woken up at 6:30am by the 4 year old big brother.

This went on for a few nights, and Saturday night was no different (she was born on a Wednesday to give you some perspective). That Saturday night went the same as the previous nights and after getting only 2 hours of sleep, I remember walking out to the front room in the early morning hours completely exhausted from another sleepless night, boobs aching because the girl had screamed so much during the night that she wasn't waking up to eat, and I just sat on the couch and sobbed. 

A few days later I sat holding this little baby in my arms on my patio and whined to my Mom. She wasn't getting on a routine, and her sleep was erratic, and her eating was erratic, and how frustrated I was and tired, and I didn't want to create bad habits with her.....   My wise Mom just looked at me and said, do you remember when her older brother was this tiny? Do you even remember what his little hands and little toes were like? Madeline, they grow up so fast, just enjoy her while she is at this stage.

I think that is at the heart of Philippians...in whatsoever state I am in. Whether that be the please for the love of all that is holy sleep baby girl state...or the I have to get through this degree state. Even the "I don't know how I am going to single-parent, take care of a house, work full-time and take care of myself state... we are counseled to be content.

This isn't a gimmick, it isn't God telling us to slap on a smile and deal with whatever crap life throws at you... but it is a gentle reminder that there is always good mixed in with the mediocre. Or in other words, God was trying to remind me that there might be MESS but there are always MIRACLES.

Love, 

Madeline